This is Laura

Decided last night, in my restless efforts to get tired so I could go to sleep, to begin reading a book that was borrowed to me years ago (sorry to the borrow-ee). I've made my way to about chapter 5 already and have come to quite a few conclusions.  

1. I do not talk to God.  I make requests and I being sentences but I don't talk to Him. I dont cry out to Him. I don't beg for the forgiveness I so don't deserve, and I sure as heck don't wrestle with Him over the things that plague me minute by minute, day by day.

2. Forgiveness is something I don't understand. I do but I don't.  I began to ask Him to show me who I even need to forgive.  First up... me.  Which brings me to...

3. How do you forgive when the person you need to forgive is yourself. It's easier, way way easier, to forgive another person because you may not see them again, or see them rarely, or whatever. But you are always with yourself. Always.  And maybe it's not necessarily yourself you have to forgive but Satan... but I feel like that doesn't work because he doesn't deserve forgiveness... so I think it's really just ourselves... it's forgiving myself for giving in so easily to his temptation to sin... temptation to say things to myself that contradict the truth of Christ.

So maybe this is why I don't talk to God... because it makes me feel things and makes me open up areas that seem to be nicer and neater when they are just kept shut.

Well, I guess the clutter is a comin and there is nothing to stop it.

Oh Jesus let this become a habit. I beg of You.

Ok ok ok... I'll post.

Here I (Laura) am... posting... because I recently heard that you don't blog for other people to read it but for yourself... so... self... how are you? Do you enjoy reading blogs? Not retarded ones like this? I totally understand.

Enough.

So I am presently trying to print out my bank statements for the past 3 months and my printer has become russian or something. I can pring a document that is, say, 4 pages, and the first one comes out in english, then the rest of them come out in like, russian or czech or something crazy like that... I think that my printer has gotten a travel bug just like me... to bad I can't start speaking another language to make myself feel better.

I decided yesterday that I would also love to receive gift cards to Patina for wedding presents... that would be lovely.. because lets face it, bed bath and beyond and Macy's don't have the things that Laura and Thomas like... definitely not our style.

And I am STILL waiting to hear where I will be come July as far as work goes. At first I was thinking I had a good chance of moving over to Rosedale as the Assistant Manager, and then I heard that that probably wouldn't happen, and so I was settled in that, and then I found out who the manager is and I can totally see her wanting me there because she is the one who hired me waaaaay back in '03... so now I really don't know... All I can say is that I am sooo thankful that God already knows whats up... and I am so thankful that I can actually find peace in that.

Gosh He is just so great.


Thats all.

Guten Tag