A thought crept into my mind this morning and I sort of wish it hadn't because it has caused me a small amount of unrest...
I am pretty positive that I won't have the chance to ever be a maid of honor to someone.
I mean, this is not a big deal, but as I look around at all of the weddings going on around me, I got to thinking about how I am pretty much the only one who asks like 35 people to be in my wedding... and maybe I am not close enough with anyone to be one of the lucky few who get to share in that super awesome day.
I guess being a guest is equally as important.
Or at least I will keep telling myself that.
The lonely bride,
Laura
March 27, 2009
March 25, 2009
chickens have sharp teeth the size of walnuts
Captain's Log, 8:05 p.m.
Still snowing on the northern front. Its been like this ever since tuesday. Ever since those flipin polar bears seized control of that giant golf like ball from the snow watch in the North West Air, we havent been able to keep this snow at bay. I have been stuck in the camp, unable to get to the outpost to make me money. The only thing keeping me going is the gangsta rap poundin out the speakas in my rooma. And Chickens Have Sharp Teeth the Size of Walnuts.
Arbitrarily Pear... wonder if its true...
Thomas
Still snowing on the northern front. Its been like this ever since tuesday. Ever since those flipin polar bears seized control of that giant golf like ball from the snow watch in the North West Air, we havent been able to keep this snow at bay. I have been stuck in the camp, unable to get to the outpost to make me money. The only thing keeping me going is the gangsta rap poundin out the speakas in my rooma. And Chickens Have Sharp Teeth the Size of Walnuts.
Arbitrarily Pear... wonder if its true...
Thomas
March 14, 2009
Mmmm
I'm cooking myself dinner. Rosemary and garlic potatos, steamed broccolli and breaded lemon and garlic chicken... getting ready for my man...
LJ
LJ
March 12, 2009
Lily the Terror
So here's a funny story for ya...
Scene: Laura is talking on the phone to Thomas, catching up after a long day. She is walking downstairs while still on the phone and she comes across a terrible terrible mess left by her little dog, Lily.
"LILY! What did you do!" Laura shouts, unfortunately a little too close to her phone, and into the delicate ears of her lovely fiance.
Lily cowers and begins to back up, revealing the exact splendor of her recent project. She had infact been working quite hard and pulling all of the nature-like stuffing out of her mother's fake plant. Laura quickly apologizes to Thomas for yelling, and informs him that she must leave, because their lovely little girl made a huge mess. "Sometimes I really just don't know what to do with her..." Laura said in slight desperation. Hanging up the phone, she ran to the kitchen to grab the bottle of crushed red pepper from the spice drawer. She remembered this technique from their previous dog, and hoped it would finally break through Lily's petite yet cement like skull and teach her a lesson once and for all. Grabbing Lily and forcing a feast of peppery goodness upon her, Lily scamered away, licking her chops like she had just eaten a steak dinner. Apparently red pepper sucks up all of your saliva, causing one to become rather dry in the mouth. Anyways, moving on. Laura puts Lily in the kennel for a time out, and then let's her out to go potty. Then grabbing the vaccum cleaner, she proceeds to vaccum every step and carpeted area where this little wonder had traveled. Deciding to do something nice for her mom, she begin to vaccum the rest of the upstairs, because after all, she had it out anyways. As she is finishing up in her parent's bedroom she hears the treacherous sound of ripping paper. Frantically running out of the bedroom and gazing down the stairs, there she saw it... The unforgettable scene of the world's worst puppy. The lovely melodic sound of the paper ripping was Lily, this cute little baby, ripping the wallpaper off of the wall in the stairway. A wave of complete shock washed over Laura as she could not believe what had just happened. How on earth could she ever fix this. How on earth could she ever convince her parent's not to take Lily out back and end their days of destroyed personal belongings. She ran downstairs and grabbed Lily. "WHAT DID YOU DO!" She yelled. To her dismay, Lily had no response for her behavior. Out came the red pepper once again, but this time the portion was doubled... quite possibly trippled. Lily was sent back to her kennel with prayers going up like crazy for her life to be spared. Laura then went over to inspect the scene. Three pieces of wallpaper lay on the step, nice and slimy from Lily's saliva. Trying frantically to think of what could be done to fix it, or what could be presented to her parent's as the best solution, she finally thought of it. "Modge Podge!" she thought as she ran upstairs to her art box. "Decopage glue is very similar to wallpaper glue. Maybe I can just piece it back together." So she proceeded to do so, all the while praying fervently that it would not be noticeable. A call from her dad to pick him and mom up rushed her to finish and off she went. "Oh Lord, pleeeeaaaaassssseeeeee soften their hearts towards Lily. Help them not want to give her away. Oh Lord please help them to be miraculously ok with this. Please Lord! When should I tell them? Right away? Or should I wait until they notice it? No, right away, I can't not tell them." As they jumped in the car, her heart pounded, wondering how much time she would have left with Lily after this one. Seeing as Lily had already ripped a part the cushion of mom's expensive chair, chewed the ear piece to mom's reading glasses, torn a part the fake plants multiple times, and pooped in the house on a regular basis, it wasn't hard to believe that this could maybe be the straw that broke the camel's back. After some small talk she told them what had happened. They responded in a way that could only have happened by the awesome grace of God. They were a little ticked, but upon getting home and inspecting the spot, her mom's words were, "oh, no one will be able to see it." Laura nearly dropped to her knees to praise Jesus! Only a God like her's could soften the hearts of naughty dog owners.
So the moral of this story is that God can truly do the impossible.
Scene: Laura is talking on the phone to Thomas, catching up after a long day. She is walking downstairs while still on the phone and she comes across a terrible terrible mess left by her little dog, Lily.
"LILY! What did you do!" Laura shouts, unfortunately a little too close to her phone, and into the delicate ears of her lovely fiance.
Lily cowers and begins to back up, revealing the exact splendor of her recent project. She had infact been working quite hard and pulling all of the nature-like stuffing out of her mother's fake plant. Laura quickly apologizes to Thomas for yelling, and informs him that she must leave, because their lovely little girl made a huge mess. "Sometimes I really just don't know what to do with her..." Laura said in slight desperation. Hanging up the phone, she ran to the kitchen to grab the bottle of crushed red pepper from the spice drawer. She remembered this technique from their previous dog, and hoped it would finally break through Lily's petite yet cement like skull and teach her a lesson once and for all. Grabbing Lily and forcing a feast of peppery goodness upon her, Lily scamered away, licking her chops like she had just eaten a steak dinner. Apparently red pepper sucks up all of your saliva, causing one to become rather dry in the mouth. Anyways, moving on. Laura puts Lily in the kennel for a time out, and then let's her out to go potty. Then grabbing the vaccum cleaner, she proceeds to vaccum every step and carpeted area where this little wonder had traveled. Deciding to do something nice for her mom, she begin to vaccum the rest of the upstairs, because after all, she had it out anyways. As she is finishing up in her parent's bedroom she hears the treacherous sound of ripping paper. Frantically running out of the bedroom and gazing down the stairs, there she saw it... The unforgettable scene of the world's worst puppy. The lovely melodic sound of the paper ripping was Lily, this cute little baby, ripping the wallpaper off of the wall in the stairway. A wave of complete shock washed over Laura as she could not believe what had just happened. How on earth could she ever fix this. How on earth could she ever convince her parent's not to take Lily out back and end their days of destroyed personal belongings. She ran downstairs and grabbed Lily. "WHAT DID YOU DO!" She yelled. To her dismay, Lily had no response for her behavior. Out came the red pepper once again, but this time the portion was doubled... quite possibly trippled. Lily was sent back to her kennel with prayers going up like crazy for her life to be spared. Laura then went over to inspect the scene. Three pieces of wallpaper lay on the step, nice and slimy from Lily's saliva. Trying frantically to think of what could be done to fix it, or what could be presented to her parent's as the best solution, she finally thought of it. "Modge Podge!" she thought as she ran upstairs to her art box. "Decopage glue is very similar to wallpaper glue. Maybe I can just piece it back together." So she proceeded to do so, all the while praying fervently that it would not be noticeable. A call from her dad to pick him and mom up rushed her to finish and off she went. "Oh Lord, pleeeeaaaaassssseeeeee soften their hearts towards Lily. Help them not want to give her away. Oh Lord please help them to be miraculously ok with this. Please Lord! When should I tell them? Right away? Or should I wait until they notice it? No, right away, I can't not tell them." As they jumped in the car, her heart pounded, wondering how much time she would have left with Lily after this one. Seeing as Lily had already ripped a part the cushion of mom's expensive chair, chewed the ear piece to mom's reading glasses, torn a part the fake plants multiple times, and pooped in the house on a regular basis, it wasn't hard to believe that this could maybe be the straw that broke the camel's back. After some small talk she told them what had happened. They responded in a way that could only have happened by the awesome grace of God. They were a little ticked, but upon getting home and inspecting the spot, her mom's words were, "oh, no one will be able to see it." Laura nearly dropped to her knees to praise Jesus! Only a God like her's could soften the hearts of naughty dog owners.
So the moral of this story is that God can truly do the impossible.
can i please get off of this stupid hampster wheel?
It's 1:10am and I (laura) am frustrated... I feel like the things that quite literally flood my brain non-stop all day are the same things that did that 2 years ago, and 5 years ago, and 12 years ago... ok, so some of them have changed, but there are a few that just never seem to go away... bondage, I do believe, is what it is more commonly referred to as. But the newest addition is, more often than not, more than I feel like I can bare. How do you deal with not knowing whats going to happen tomorrow.. or feeling like you literally have like 26 balls flying up in the air and have no clue how you are going to catch them in order as they fall, and not miss one... Thats basically exactly how I feel... You want to watch time stand still... wait for multiple things for weeks at a time... I feel like all I am doing is waiting for the next thing... and tonight upon arriving home from a wonderful evening, I am rudely awakened to the reality of my life... I have to wait. Wait for payday. Wait to see the man I love. Wait to move forward with much of anything. And because tomorrow is indeed Thursday and not Friday, I will not be doing much of anything tomorrow.
So, I guess I have sympathy for those little hapmsters in their little colored plastic balls, running around, being slightly protected, but running into things, and ultimately getting nowhere... can I please get out now?
Friday, can you please be tomorrow. Ask Thursday to switch.
So, I guess I have sympathy for those little hapmsters in their little colored plastic balls, running around, being slightly protected, but running into things, and ultimately getting nowhere... can I please get out now?
Friday, can you please be tomorrow. Ask Thursday to switch.
March 11, 2009
ducks have no feathers
So here I sit at home, its 7:23 am and I was supposed to go to work at 6:30 am...
Its kind of funny how life often throws things at you when you really dont need it to or want it to. Thoughts pass throughout your mind.. "Is God punishing me?" "Did I really drive over that animal the other day?" But then you quickly jump to other conclusions such as.. the reason that me car is being a dick today probably has something to do with this weather....Mother Nature... Actually I am almost convinced that if it where not as cold as a polar bears heiny up here in manitoba, I would actually be able to have a nice morning where nothing would go wrong. Its a nice thought indeed.
I got up this morning with good intent, showered, ate, pooped. Then I forced my way through the cold to the garage where I proceeded to start my car. Then realizing that the oil had not been changed in sometime, I decided that the correct option would be to pop the hood of my car and check the oil.. Wrong move Billy. (Billy is a fictional name) I popped the hood, took out the oil stick and then it happened. The holder for the oil stick decided that it had enough being in the position it was and moved itself in a downward direction thus the oil stick is out of a job. Because it no longer can fit in the hole. (please refrain from saying, "thats what she said") ((its not mature))
So here I sit. Waiting for the van to charge up so I can maybe drive into work with that beast. I dont like this morning and ducks have no feathers.
Thomas aka Manbat... Dr. Manbat
Its kind of funny how life often throws things at you when you really dont need it to or want it to. Thoughts pass throughout your mind.. "Is God punishing me?" "Did I really drive over that animal the other day?" But then you quickly jump to other conclusions such as.. the reason that me car is being a dick today probably has something to do with this weather....Mother Nature... Actually I am almost convinced that if it where not as cold as a polar bears heiny up here in manitoba, I would actually be able to have a nice morning where nothing would go wrong. Its a nice thought indeed.
I got up this morning with good intent, showered, ate, pooped. Then I forced my way through the cold to the garage where I proceeded to start my car. Then realizing that the oil had not been changed in sometime, I decided that the correct option would be to pop the hood of my car and check the oil.. Wrong move Billy. (Billy is a fictional name) I popped the hood, took out the oil stick and then it happened. The holder for the oil stick decided that it had enough being in the position it was and moved itself in a downward direction thus the oil stick is out of a job. Because it no longer can fit in the hole. (please refrain from saying, "thats what she said") ((its not mature))
So here I sit. Waiting for the van to charge up so I can maybe drive into work with that beast. I dont like this morning and ducks have no feathers.
Thomas aka Manbat... Dr. Manbat
March 10, 2009
Questions.
I had a revelation the other day while watching, "Flight of the Conchords", which just turned into my new favourite show. (let me spell that again.. FavoUrite show.) ((correct spelling of the word favourite is with a U)) anyways.. if you want to look cool you have to make your hair stand up with tons of hair gel... it didnt work for me.. bummer
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